Have you ever wondered what it might be like if one of your best friends decided to become a surrogate?
I’m here to tell you!
This journey started six years ago, with what I thought was going to be a very unfortunate event in my life. In June 2018 I was laid off from my job with zero notice and zero severance package. Naturally, I was incredibly shocked and spent the next day crying and trying to figure out what in the world I was going to do to pay my rent, take care of my dog and other bills.
To make the situation worse the very next day, I turned on my laptop to edit my resume, and when I plugged in the charger to the computer, it literally popped, sparked and started smoking. Clearly, I was not meant to apply for any jobs that soon.
Over the course of the next few months, I worked freelance positions and a cleaning job to get by while I applied for several positions. Unfortunately, when it comes to media production, Pittsburgh is not necessarily a hot market.
What started as a nightmare full of fear and doubt became a wonderful experience number one because I realized relatively quickly that I wasn’t actually enjoying working for that company, and number two, because my friend was about to enter into a journey of her own.
Because of my newfound “free time” I was able to walk beside her through her surrogacy journey.
Sometime in the winter, she asked me if I would be able to accompany her on a trip to New York. I was super excited and incredibly honored that she chose me too be her companion for this trip. We flew out of Pittsburgh headed to New York City for a few days! On our trip, we met, and had a wonderful dinner with the intended parent, and my friend went to see a doctor at the intended parents fertility clinic, so that she could be approved to be a surrogate.
We stayed in a lovely hotel right across the street from the doctors office with quite possibly the world’s nicest concierge staff. There was a little bodega on the same street, and we weren’t far from Times Square. We tried to take full advantage of a few days we planned to be there, visiting the Lego store to grab gifts for her sons, eating everything from pizza to seafood to delicious café sweets, taking cabs, the whole New York City experience.
Overall, my favorite moment of this trip, besides getting to spend some quality girl time together, was meeting the intended parent Bill.
From the moment he walked into the restaurant, his joyous personality was noticeable. It was really incredible how he and my friend meshed, and shared such a pure connection. Bill was well spoken, very kind, and generous. He was genuinely interested in getting to know us both, which stood out in my mind, seeing as I was “just the friend.”
A month or so later we headed back to New York for a medical procedure that was necessary before the implant process. This trip was similar to the first, however, mostly centered around the procedure. I remember taking her to the clinic for the procedure, and being told I could come back in a few hours, or when they called me. To be completely honest I don’t remember what I did in that period of time, I probably went to a café and did some work or read a book. When I returned to the clinic, I remember that my friend was not feeling very well. She was relaxing in a hospital bed, covered in a bunch of blankets. After she was feeling a little better, we went back to the hotel to rest. I’m pretty sure we ordered pizza and salad that night and stayed in the hotel to relax and let her recover. I remember going to the bodega down the street to buy a bunch of Smartwater and a couple other items to help get my friend back on her feet. We were planning on flying home the next day.
The next morning, she was still not feeling well, so we went back to the clinic for some fluids. At this point, the doctors felt that it was unsafe for her to fly, so all of our flights and transportation had to be rescheduled. After a few hours at the clinic, she was feeling much better, and we were able to head back to the hotel. We ended up staying that night and flying back home to Pittsburgh the next day.
After the embryos were implanted, everything went pretty smoothly. She was confirmed pregnant with TWINS!
Which was a shock, but a blessing. She and Bill continued to develop their relationship, and he really came through on multiple occasions. I remember her talking about nutritional coaching, maternity clothing, a gym membership and occasional massages.
Towards the end of the pregnancy, we talked a lot about how common it was for twins to come early, I remember joking about how unprepared we thought Bill would be. We all know women are the “nesters.” Sure enough two weeks before her due date she went into labor! She went to the hospital and one of my responsibilities was alerting our friends and Bill. Thankfully one of our very good friends was able to get to the hospital quickly and see her. By the time I arrived, they had taken her for a C-section.
While the doctors delivered the babies, I spoke with Bill on the phone to let him know that everything was going well, and he should get to Pittsburgh as soon as he could. Not shockingly he wasn’t quite prepared. It was afternoon or early evening by this point, and he was unable to get a flight until the next day.
Once she was stable, I was able to be with my friend and let her know that everyone was aware of what had happened and that Bill would be on his way as soon as possible. The birth was a little bit crazy and stressful, but ultimately, she and the babies were in perfect health. She stayed in the hospital overnight, and the babies stayed in the nursery. Bill arrived the next morning, and was incredibly overjoyed and overwhelmed. Watching him pick up his tiny, 5 pound babies and learn how to change them was incredible to watch.
His level of care and concern were unmatched by anything I’d seen in my life.
That day, a steady flow of people came in and out of the room to see my friend, to see the babies, and see the man who all this was for. One of my favorite memories of that day is watching her young sons hold the babies with wonder in their eyes. It was certainly an experience like nothing else. The appreciation that Bill had was palpable. Even though he had paid for the entire journey and been available in more ways than one to help, there was just a sense that he would always feel indebted because she was responsible for bringing these little miracles into the world.
If you haven’t already guessed, my friend, the one I walked beside, one of the most caring, and selfless people I’ve ever met is also an owner of Little Miracles Surrogacy, Ursula Bresnei. So much has happened in the last five years, but I can tell you that walking beside Ursula during her surrogacy journey has been, and probably will remain one of the most influential periods of time in my life. From the day they were born, “the twins'' referred to the babies Ursula carried for Bill, and I would be willing to bet that 30 years from now, no matter how many sets of twins we hear about in the meantime, “the twins“ will still refer to those little miracles. That’s just how big of an impact a journey like this can have on your life, even if you’re “just the friend.
If you are unable to carry a child of your own for any reason, I recommend Little Miracles Surrogacy with my whole heart. The owners truly believe that family is for everyone, and they want you to experience the unique joy and connection that surrogacy can bring to your life! Call them today to get started!
Comments