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When “Happily Ever After” Meets a Diagnosis: My First Steps Toward an Uncertain Future

  • Ayla Zimmerman
  • May 19
  • 3 min read

I never imagined I’d be learning a whole new vocabulary—oncologist, staging, fertility preservation—just months after tossing my wedding bouquet. Last July, under a canopy of twinkle lights and happy tears, I married the man I’d loved for five years and stepped into the kind of future we’d whispered about on late-night walks: little feet on hardwood floors, bedtime stories, matching family pajamas at Christmas. So cheesy, but so wonderful.


Then, a couple months ago, an awkward pain sent me to my gynecologist. One biopsy and a blur of specialist appointments later, I heard the words “uterine cancer.” In that instant, every plan we’d sketched in the margins of our lives was erased, replaced by the overwhelming reality that I will never carry a pregnancy.


Freezing Time (and Eggs) Before the Clock Starts Ticking

My oncologist explained that chemotherapy and a radical hysterectomy are non-negotiable if we want the best chance of beating this. She also explained that IVF and egg retrieval had to happen immediately, before treatment began. I felt like I’d stepped onto a conveyor belt that was suddenly moving at warp speed:


  1. Consult with a reproductive endocrinologist

  2. Begin hormone injections to stimulate my ovaries

  3. Egg retrieval scheduled

  4. Cancer treatment starts the very next week.


Just like that, the most intimate, soul-level decision—how and when to start a family—was jammed into a quickly closing window. I signed consent forms, feeling equal parts gratitude (for the option) and grief (for why it was needed).


microscopic images of a fertilized egg, embryo with 2, 4 and 8 cells, morula and blastocyst.

The Whirlwind in My Head

  • Fear: Will the cancer spread while we press pause to freeze eggs?

  • Guilt: My husband didn’t sign up for this detour; will he still smile when he sees our wedding photos?

  • Anger: Why my uterus? Why now?

  • Hope: These eggs could become our children one day.


Every emotion arrives unannounced, often in the same hour, leaving me exhausted. Friends text, “Stay positive!” and I want to answer, “Positivity isn’t a switch—I’m building it brick by shaky brick.”

Planning Ten Years in One Afternoon

Cancer plays a cruel magic trick: it stretches time (“treatment will take months”) and compresses it (“freeze eggs now, decide about embryos later”) all at once. My husband and I found ourselves mapping the next decade on scrap paper:


  • Finish chemo → recover → revisit embryos.

  • Locate a surrogate? Where? How much does it cost?

  • What if recurrence changes everything again?


I used to plan vacations six months out; suddenly I’m forced to plan as if I already know the twists and turns of the next ten years. Spoiler: I don’t.


The Fork in the Road: Considering Surrogacy

During a late-night research spiral, I landed on Little Miracles Surrogacy. Their stories of women who carried hope for families like mine felt like oxygen. Surrogacy may not be every cancer survivor’s path, and I’m still processing whether it’s ours—but reading about intended parents and surrogates walking this road together chipped away at my sense of isolation.


A Note to Any Woman Standing Where I Am

If you’re staring down a life-altering diagnosis, juggling survival and future family dreams at the same time, know this:


  • You did nothing wrong. Your worth isn’t tethered to the organs you keep or lose.

  • It’s okay to grieve and hope at the same time. Those emotions can coexist, even in the same breath.

  • You are not alone.


Little Miracles Surrogacy Is Here for You

Little Miracles exists for women making impossible choices in impossible timelines. They understand that surrogacy isn’t the answer for everyone—but it is an answer for some. Whether you simply need compassionate information, or you’re ready to explore matching with a surrogate when the time is right, their team walks beside you with honesty, transparency, and care.


My story is still unfolding. I don’t know how, or when, I will make some of these decisions, but I do know this: hope is still on the table—and when I’m ready to reach for it, Little Miracles will be there.


If you’re navigating a similar journey and want to learn more about surrogacy, reach out to Little Miracles Surrogacy. There is a community ready to hold space for your grief, your questions, and your dreams. Contact us here.

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