Becoming a surrogate is an incredibly meaningful decision—one that goes beyond the medical and financial aspects of the journey. It’s a deeply emotional experience that requires compassion, resilience, and a strong sense of purpose. Naturally, many surrogates have questions about the emotional and ethical dynamics involved.
How will I feel about carrying a baby for someone else? What kind of relationship will I have with the intended parents? How do I prepare myself and my family for this journey? These are just a few of the important questions that arise when considering surrogacy.
In this blog, we’ll explore the most common emotional and ethical questions surrogates ask, providing honest answers and insights to help you navigate this unique experience with confidence and clarity. Whether you’re just starting to research surrogacy or are already in the process, understanding these aspects can help you feel fully prepared for the journey ahead.
Emotional & Ethical Questions Surrogates Ask:
1. Will I feel emotionally attached to the baby?
Many surrogates feel connected but understand they are carrying the baby for someone else. Psychological support is available if needed.
2. What if I don’t agree with the intended parents’ choices (e.g., medical decisions)?
Many options are available for you to negotiate with a lawyer. If you feel strongly about anything in the journey, you can make sure to build that into your surrogate contract. Ultimately, your contract outlines how decisions are made. The intended parents and you must agree on all aspects of the journey before signing contracts.
3. How do I explain surrogacy to my own children?
Many surrogates tell their kids, "I'm helping another family have a baby because they can't on their own." Books and resources can help explain it in a child-friendly way. Every family is different, but we suggest honesty and openness. Check out our blog here for preparing those around you!
4. What happens if the intended parents separate or no longer want the baby?
The legal contract ensures they remain responsible for the child, even if they separate or change their mind.
5. Can I stay in contact with the baby or the parents after birth?
This depends on your agreement with the parents. Some surrogates maintain contact, while others do not. This is usually established in the contract and discussed throughout the journey.
6. What if the baby has a health issue?
The intended parents legally take responsibility for the baby, even if there are health concerns. Any termination based on serious medical issues is established in the legal contracts and agreed upon before the journey begins.
7. How do I make sure that I have the support system I need?
Friends and family are very important during this time as you will need support. While additional financial support is available for counseling or therapy, you can also check out another blog about support systems here!
We know there are many other questions you may want to ask! Contact us here if you would like to chat!
If you have questions about eligibility and requirements, medical and legal processes, or compensation and financials, click the topic to read previous blogs. Stay tuned for more frequently asked questions in our next blog! Check out the FAQ page here.